ZooK
Outside of the aviary tonight.
So I'm going to air this publicly, because I don't want people to think I'm seething secretly behind their/his back(s). I got a letter today from SAMI, otherwise known as the Fascist Bastards***1***whom we rented a $1180 4 bedroom apartment***2***from last year. We also put down a $100 deposit (each). So I gave them an envelope to send back my deposit, and it comes in the mail today. I estimated, with slight damages and our last water bill, that I would get AT LEAST 50 bucks back. I wasn't expecting a lot, just enough to finance my obsessive-compulsive addiction to Compact Discs.
So it comes today, and there is no check.
Instead, there is a receipt that tells me that I am getting no money back. I owe them no money, but I am getting no money back. Why?***3***I'll tell you: I have been charged***4*** $20.10 for "Hallway Damage"; $10.00 for "Apartment Damage-Hole"; and $61.13 for "Joint Rent-----------"***5***.
The "Hallway Damage": this is more than likely for the cigarette burns in the tiles surrounding our door. I don't smoke, but I will admit that our apartment caused this damage. It would have been nice had certain people used ashtrays instead of just stepping on them, but that is mostly MY FAULT for making them smoke outside. I'd rather pay this than have an apartment full of smoke. So this is somewhat easy to swallow.
The "Apartment Damage--Hole": this pisses me off. My roomate Rick called SAMI and informed them of his hole, so he has nothing to do with this. However, there was another hole in the living room that I did not make. I did not contribute to the cause of this whole either***6***, so I would argue that I don't owe them a fucking cent. But, again, I was expecting to lose $50 on this, so that's fine.
"Joint Rent-------------": This is so fucking lame. Basically this means that one of our roomates didn't pay their last month rent, thus they are charging all of us for it instead of him. This is good for him and bad for us. Now I'm as tight with my money as the next guy***7***, and this is so maddening. I have no problem with him not paying the rent, he paid the bills on time and I never had a problem with living with him***8***. Plus he's a nice guy, and he's had some bad luck lately. But this is bad. There comes a time when a person has to accept responsiblity, at least a tiny bit of it. When I borrow money from someone or they do me a big favor, I get physically nervous until I pay them back. I don't even want them to wait a week. Marcie I owe money to right now, but I only found out how much last week and its only $15 and he'll get it.
What this joint rent thing does to me though is forces someone to owe me money, an amount that could buy me and the Lady Friend***9*** a few nice dinners and whatnot. It's not going to kill me, it won't force me to call the bank, but its more the principle of it. And the fact that I will NEVER see this money.
You know what, fuck it. I just had to air it out. If you read this, and it offends you, don't let it. I would have told you this in person, but I'm like a thousand miles away and my arms are sunburnt and I haven't been sufficiently Liquored.
I hate Macy Gray.
Thenextfivesongsonyerradioinaperfectworldwouldbe: "I should have gone out last night" by dirty three; "sir duke" by stevie wonder; "landslide" by fleetwood mac; that david gray song with the drum machine; and "by yer side" by pete yorn.
in the stereo: dirty three/low split
***1***Have I ever told you the story about the guy in England who legally changed his name to YorkshireBankAreFasicstBastards after they fucked him out of about 1000 pounds? True story. He is my hero.
***2***They make this seem affordable by saying its a $295 per bedroom apartment, and us college folks who pinch and pull pennies at all other opportunities just go "OK" and walk through the door. $1200 could get you a wicked awesome house in the fucking suburbs of Kansas City, yet we pay it straight to these F.B's***!***without so much as a blink.
***3***Thanks for asking, a good question.
***4***And I'm guessing that this means that these charges have been split by either 4 or 5, but that could make an ass out of you. And me.
***5***Name witheld to protect....the innoguilty.
***6***Allegedly, the cause of this hole was the fact that the Stereo in the living room was burned out from too many CD's laying on top of it. My argument: anyone who knows me knows that I protect my CD's like I would protect Ralph Nader if he were president: closely and with utmost respect. If you see a CD of mine on the floor or in the living room, I more than likely either gave it to someone else or someone borrowed it. Again, I had nothing to do with the stereo breaking, thus the hole is 0% my responsibility.
***7***If you live next to the Constanzas or Scrooge.
***8***Except for one night, when he brought home what I thought was a group of drunk people but was actually only one other person, and started yelling and shit. This is the cause of hole number 1, i.e, Ricks foot in the wall.
***9***Had to bring it back, R.E.G.
***!***Seperate from D.O.D's.
Outside of the aviary tonight.
So I'm going to air this publicly, because I don't want people to think I'm seething secretly behind their/his back(s). I got a letter today from SAMI, otherwise known as the Fascist Bastards***1***whom we rented a $1180 4 bedroom apartment***2***from last year. We also put down a $100 deposit (each). So I gave them an envelope to send back my deposit, and it comes in the mail today. I estimated, with slight damages and our last water bill, that I would get AT LEAST 50 bucks back. I wasn't expecting a lot, just enough to finance my obsessive-compulsive addiction to Compact Discs.
So it comes today, and there is no check.
Instead, there is a receipt that tells me that I am getting no money back. I owe them no money, but I am getting no money back. Why?***3***I'll tell you: I have been charged***4*** $20.10 for "Hallway Damage"; $10.00 for "Apartment Damage-Hole"; and $61.13 for "Joint Rent-----------"***5***.
The "Hallway Damage": this is more than likely for the cigarette burns in the tiles surrounding our door. I don't smoke, but I will admit that our apartment caused this damage. It would have been nice had certain people used ashtrays instead of just stepping on them, but that is mostly MY FAULT for making them smoke outside. I'd rather pay this than have an apartment full of smoke. So this is somewhat easy to swallow.
The "Apartment Damage--Hole": this pisses me off. My roomate Rick called SAMI and informed them of his hole, so he has nothing to do with this. However, there was another hole in the living room that I did not make. I did not contribute to the cause of this whole either***6***, so I would argue that I don't owe them a fucking cent. But, again, I was expecting to lose $50 on this, so that's fine.
"Joint Rent-------------": This is so fucking lame. Basically this means that one of our roomates didn't pay their last month rent, thus they are charging all of us for it instead of him. This is good for him and bad for us. Now I'm as tight with my money as the next guy***7***, and this is so maddening. I have no problem with him not paying the rent, he paid the bills on time and I never had a problem with living with him***8***. Plus he's a nice guy, and he's had some bad luck lately. But this is bad. There comes a time when a person has to accept responsiblity, at least a tiny bit of it. When I borrow money from someone or they do me a big favor, I get physically nervous until I pay them back. I don't even want them to wait a week. Marcie I owe money to right now, but I only found out how much last week and its only $15 and he'll get it.
What this joint rent thing does to me though is forces someone to owe me money, an amount that could buy me and the Lady Friend***9*** a few nice dinners and whatnot. It's not going to kill me, it won't force me to call the bank, but its more the principle of it. And the fact that I will NEVER see this money.
You know what, fuck it. I just had to air it out. If you read this, and it offends you, don't let it. I would have told you this in person, but I'm like a thousand miles away and my arms are sunburnt and I haven't been sufficiently Liquored.
I hate Macy Gray.
Thenextfivesongsonyerradioinaperfectworldwouldbe: "I should have gone out last night" by dirty three; "sir duke" by stevie wonder; "landslide" by fleetwood mac; that david gray song with the drum machine; and "by yer side" by pete yorn.
in the stereo: dirty three/low split
***1***Have I ever told you the story about the guy in England who legally changed his name to YorkshireBankAreFasicstBastards after they fucked him out of about 1000 pounds? True story. He is my hero.
***2***They make this seem affordable by saying its a $295 per bedroom apartment, and us college folks who pinch and pull pennies at all other opportunities just go "OK" and walk through the door. $1200 could get you a wicked awesome house in the fucking suburbs of Kansas City, yet we pay it straight to these F.B's***!***without so much as a blink.
***3***Thanks for asking, a good question.
***4***And I'm guessing that this means that these charges have been split by either 4 or 5, but that could make an ass out of you. And me.
***5***Name witheld to protect....the innoguilty.
***6***Allegedly, the cause of this hole was the fact that the Stereo in the living room was burned out from too many CD's laying on top of it. My argument: anyone who knows me knows that I protect my CD's like I would protect Ralph Nader if he were president: closely and with utmost respect. If you see a CD of mine on the floor or in the living room, I more than likely either gave it to someone else or someone borrowed it. Again, I had nothing to do with the stereo breaking, thus the hole is 0% my responsibility.
***7***If you live next to the Constanzas or Scrooge.
***8***Except for one night, when he brought home what I thought was a group of drunk people but was actually only one other person, and started yelling and shit. This is the cause of hole number 1, i.e, Ricks foot in the wall.
***9***Had to bring it back, R.E.G.
***!***Seperate from D.O.D's.
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