Zach "BLARG lives!" Kuhn
People don't just bump into each other and have sex, this isn't Cinemax!
Jerry Seinfeld, you magnificent bastard! BLARG being down and all, my previous post is actually from yesterday. I was a dork and saved it because I want to post every day. You need me.
Have that Slept-In-Someone-Else's-Bed-And-Smell-Like-Cigarettes look to me, as the bar only half kicked my ass last night. I think I may have hit the jukebox about 50 times last night for not playing my three songs which were, in order: "everybody knows this is nowhere" by neil young; "Street Fighting Man (LIVE)" by the stones; and "and it stoned me" by van morrison. Some dick tried to tell me that I only like Van Morrison because everyone else is starting to and I asked him "who everyone else? I'd like to meet 'em and hang out." and he didn't answer that so I went on my tirade about how Astral Weeks is my favorite record and how great it is and blah blah blah. I think I made him sober up. Then some kid made fun of Lifter Puller, which is where I draw the line. A concept album about Minnesota and drugs and strippers and crazies named Nightclub Dwight who runs a club called the Nice, Nice. And you don't own it?!?!??!?!?
My conversation with a dude waiting for the bathroom***1***
Him: Dude, you waiting for the bathroom.
Me: Yeah.
Him: Dude, what's taking him so long.
(He and I look inside and see a guy standing at the urinal talking to himself and dancing.)
Me: I think I want to go home.
Argh. And Memento is not playing today at Parkway Cinemas. I called yesterday and the girl said they had the movie but didn't have clearance to play it. So we wait. Instead, Ryan and I are going to see State and Main at the Normal Theatre which is an old school theatre (with neon sign, thank you very much Alex) that shows new-ish and very old films for 4 bucks. Can I kick it? Yes you can. In a few weeks they are bringing the best movie from last year,
with bells on. It'll be there for four days, and I plan on seeing it twice. You betcha.
The next five things to fall off the face of the earth without a peep from me are: Texas; the guy who wrote the Seinfeld book I got the other day for not liking the car episode; people who hold grudges for no apparent reason (like me, but not really); Bands who think mullets and midgets are so funny that they had to ruin it for the rest of us; and (of course) the entire state of Florida, including the borders with Alabama and Georgia.
In the stereo: Photobooth by Death Cab for Cutie
***1***And here you have to understand that the bathroom at the Cellar is, how you say, nasty. S.O.P "water" all over the floor, one of those towel things that hangs from the wall instead of a dispenser, you know the drill.
People don't just bump into each other and have sex, this isn't Cinemax!
Jerry Seinfeld, you magnificent bastard! BLARG being down and all, my previous post is actually from yesterday. I was a dork and saved it because I want to post every day. You need me.
Have that Slept-In-Someone-Else's-Bed-And-Smell-Like-Cigarettes look to me, as the bar only half kicked my ass last night. I think I may have hit the jukebox about 50 times last night for not playing my three songs which were, in order: "everybody knows this is nowhere" by neil young; "Street Fighting Man (LIVE)" by the stones; and "and it stoned me" by van morrison. Some dick tried to tell me that I only like Van Morrison because everyone else is starting to and I asked him "who everyone else? I'd like to meet 'em and hang out." and he didn't answer that so I went on my tirade about how Astral Weeks is my favorite record and how great it is and blah blah blah. I think I made him sober up. Then some kid made fun of Lifter Puller, which is where I draw the line. A concept album about Minnesota and drugs and strippers and crazies named Nightclub Dwight who runs a club called the Nice, Nice. And you don't own it?!?!??!?!?
My conversation with a dude waiting for the bathroom***1***
Him: Dude, you waiting for the bathroom.
Me: Yeah.
Him: Dude, what's taking him so long.
(He and I look inside and see a guy standing at the urinal talking to himself and dancing.)
Me: I think I want to go home.
Argh. And Memento is not playing today at Parkway Cinemas. I called yesterday and the girl said they had the movie but didn't have clearance to play it. So we wait. Instead, Ryan and I are going to see State and Main at the Normal Theatre which is an old school theatre (with neon sign, thank you very much Alex) that shows new-ish and very old films for 4 bucks. Can I kick it? Yes you can. In a few weeks they are bringing the best movie from last year,
with bells on. It'll be there for four days, and I plan on seeing it twice. You betcha.
The next five things to fall off the face of the earth without a peep from me are: Texas; the guy who wrote the Seinfeld book I got the other day for not liking the car episode; people who hold grudges for no apparent reason (like me, but not really); Bands who think mullets and midgets are so funny that they had to ruin it for the rest of us; and (of course) the entire state of Florida, including the borders with Alabama and Georgia.
In the stereo: Photobooth by Death Cab for Cutie
***1***And here you have to understand that the bathroom at the Cellar is, how you say, nasty. S.O.P "water" all over the floor, one of those towel things that hangs from the wall instead of a dispenser, you know the drill.
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