Zach “Worst to First” Kuhn
I got this thing I consider my only art of fucking people over.
If Modest Mouse had made a record as good as the first two songs on The Moon and Antarctica, they may have made one of the best albums ever. Instead, they filled it with awful jam-rock and that mortifyingly terrible bass song. Shame on you, good sirs.
It’s good to hear certain people are enjoying their time in a recording studio. I, too, get a Pachyderm discount on Amstel Light, only they call it a preferred card at my Liquor store. Remember, “Our Weekend Starts on Wednesday” is going to be an anthem, so you might want to break your vow of silence and give Donald Fagen a call. He can do backup vocals and throw down a Medieval guitar solo. And get some dude to play Saxophone. Just in the background somewhere…
Two of my three classes are cancelled on Thursday. That’s good. But I have a Math Test Friday morning at 8. That’s bad. But I can take the test, take a three hour nap, go to work at 4, and then see
a movie at 8. That’s good.
And yes, tomorrow evening from 6-10 I have to attend traffic school. Why, you ask? Did I break the law by speeding or running a red light or not using my turn signal? No. I got a $100 ticket for “avoiding a traffic signal”. Didn’t know anyone actually got tickets for that? Now you know. And to add insult to insult, the fifty who gave me the ticket was a…..a…..a….a bike cop. I said it. I’m not proud of it, but I live with it. To make a long story slightly less long, I cut through a parking lot on Main Street to go the other way (goddamn one way streets…) and he walked in front of my car. I thought I was getting a DUI check, so I smart-assedly told him we (Marcie was there) were going to get beer. He walked away, and came back with a real moving violation ticket. Mortified, I busted his balls for not stopping the other ten cars that did the same thing while we sat there. He shrugged his fat shoulders, dipped his bearclaw in some free DD coffee, and sent me on my way. If only I wasn’t so proud, I would have told him I was going to the Varsity Club to meet some of my frat brothers. But hey, I’ve gotta live around here.
The next five albums I would receive in the mail in a perfect world would be: the new Juno (out 5.29); Burning Airlines “Identikit” (out 5.8); the new Wilco (July); Whiskeytown “Pneumonia” (5.8); and Straightleggedkick “Posthumously Yours” (out never).
In the stereo: The band “Jubilee”. Thank heavens for BMG, I got a package on Saturday containing 8 records I’ve been too broke to buy, including most of the Band Remasters, Neil Young’s “After the Gold Rush”; Kacey Chamber’s “the Captain” (which is indeed my first modern country record, she sounds like Lucinda Williams and she has her nose pierced, if that makes it any better..?…OK?); Van Morrison’s “Band and Street Choir” and a bunch of James Brown CD’s I used to own but lost on my last visit to Panama City. Another time, I’ll get into that. Just know my friends and I damn near were murdered by the father of a girl we were hitting on. She showed us an ID that said she was 20, but really she was…well you know the story…
And as a final post-script, may I correct Marcie's "I hope that sight doesn't suck". I think you mean site as in "the site of my most embarassing erectile disfunction incident was above Shanigans". I, as a person who sees, reject the idea that the act of seeing might actually suck. Seeing certain people sucks, but sight itself is quite nice.
And I got an offer to hand out CD's at the Blink-182/Alkaline Trio show on the 9th of May. I'm bout to send an email to the guy saying yes, and if I can't do it one of you guys can for me. Deal.
I got this thing I consider my only art of fucking people over.
If Modest Mouse had made a record as good as the first two songs on The Moon and Antarctica, they may have made one of the best albums ever. Instead, they filled it with awful jam-rock and that mortifyingly terrible bass song. Shame on you, good sirs.
It’s good to hear certain people are enjoying their time in a recording studio. I, too, get a Pachyderm discount on Amstel Light, only they call it a preferred card at my Liquor store. Remember, “Our Weekend Starts on Wednesday” is going to be an anthem, so you might want to break your vow of silence and give Donald Fagen a call. He can do backup vocals and throw down a Medieval guitar solo. And get some dude to play Saxophone. Just in the background somewhere…
Two of my three classes are cancelled on Thursday. That’s good. But I have a Math Test Friday morning at 8. That’s bad. But I can take the test, take a three hour nap, go to work at 4, and then see
a movie at 8. That’s good.
And yes, tomorrow evening from 6-10 I have to attend traffic school. Why, you ask? Did I break the law by speeding or running a red light or not using my turn signal? No. I got a $100 ticket for “avoiding a traffic signal”. Didn’t know anyone actually got tickets for that? Now you know. And to add insult to insult, the fifty who gave me the ticket was a…..a…..a….a bike cop. I said it. I’m not proud of it, but I live with it. To make a long story slightly less long, I cut through a parking lot on Main Street to go the other way (goddamn one way streets…) and he walked in front of my car. I thought I was getting a DUI check, so I smart-assedly told him we (Marcie was there) were going to get beer. He walked away, and came back with a real moving violation ticket. Mortified, I busted his balls for not stopping the other ten cars that did the same thing while we sat there. He shrugged his fat shoulders, dipped his bearclaw in some free DD coffee, and sent me on my way. If only I wasn’t so proud, I would have told him I was going to the Varsity Club to meet some of my frat brothers. But hey, I’ve gotta live around here.
The next five albums I would receive in the mail in a perfect world would be: the new Juno (out 5.29); Burning Airlines “Identikit” (out 5.8); the new Wilco (July); Whiskeytown “Pneumonia” (5.8); and Straightleggedkick “Posthumously Yours” (out never).
In the stereo: The band “Jubilee”. Thank heavens for BMG, I got a package on Saturday containing 8 records I’ve been too broke to buy, including most of the Band Remasters, Neil Young’s “After the Gold Rush”; Kacey Chamber’s “the Captain” (which is indeed my first modern country record, she sounds like Lucinda Williams and she has her nose pierced, if that makes it any better..?…OK?); Van Morrison’s “Band and Street Choir” and a bunch of James Brown CD’s I used to own but lost on my last visit to Panama City. Another time, I’ll get into that. Just know my friends and I damn near were murdered by the father of a girl we were hitting on. She showed us an ID that said she was 20, but really she was…well you know the story…
And as a final post-script, may I correct Marcie's "I hope that sight doesn't suck". I think you mean site as in "the site of my most embarassing erectile disfunction incident was above Shanigans". I, as a person who sees, reject the idea that the act of seeing might actually suck. Seeing certain people sucks, but sight itself is quite nice.
And I got an offer to hand out CD's at the Blink-182/Alkaline Trio show on the 9th of May. I'm bout to send an email to the guy saying yes, and if I can't do it one of you guys can for me. Deal.
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