Zach "Heroes Found" Kuhn
And the tide was way out…
So I met the David Foster Wallace machine. The room was crowded, but not packed. I'd say a population of about 75-100. A strange mix of people varying from trench-coated, top-hatted grad students to middle aged Normal citizens looking for a laugh. And we got laughs, didn't we.
So before I start with the reading, a physical description is a necessity. Mostly because he portrayed "semi-crazy 39 year old Genius-grant waving" writer to a teeeeee. He had on a pink button up shirt (which at some time could have been closer to red than white, but had the look of a shirt that's been washed and worn and so on); light tan khaki's of which one leg was tucked into his over-sized black boots which were laced only half way up, the other pant leg covered the boots almost entirely. In his back pocket looked to be a tin of chewing tobacco, which had yet to form a permanent indention but looked to be on its way. Above the right pocket on his shirt was an orange tag of some sort, possibly one of those stickers Kroger's puts on a gallon of milk symbolizing "PAID", possibly a price tag from Salvation Army. At some point during his discussion that tag disappeared. He got to the podium carrying a Multi-colored Zebra folder of the Trapper Keeper variety, from which he extracted two sets of papers, which was one short story (already found on the web, about a burned toddler) and one excerpt from what could have been a longer piece (about a Max Fischer like eleven year old set in 1966, which, aside from being funny as fuck, was sweet and DETAILED just the way we like our Mr. Wallace). After introductions by four separate people (one, done by a very funny kid named Tim, included this joke:
TIM: Yeah, so we invited Dave Wallace here, and he said he's going to read a few paragraphs from his work, so we can expect to get out of here in about 4 ½ hours.
DAVE: (frown of a lifetime, but appreciates the humor)
TIM: Sorry.)
we finally got down to business. Mr. Foster Wallace (as Jason calls him) read the two above pieces. Some dope from the Vidette was taking pictures. After the first one caused him to stop reading (HINT), he asked the kid for the second one to be the last. "All I can see are little blue dots" which was more funny than rude. The first story will make a fantastic longer piece. He introduced the second by informing "anyone who has kids, some people in Buffalo who had kids had a problem with this story" and politely said they might want to step outside if they got sketchy in situations like that. No one left, and we were rewarded by a no-fuck-up reading of a great story.
Then, the question and answer fiasco.
He looked out in the crowd, and no one raised their hand. He was about to leave when a girl finally asked him about misogyny in David Lynch. Then some kid in the back asked about the state of "post-modern fiction", which led Mr. Wallace to ask him what he meant by just about every word in the question. Quite a funny time. The next guy asked about the John McCain articles, and that led into a very very very funny section where he described the whole situation. I can't remember enough to be thorough. The next guy asked about his 1988 book about Rap, calling Mr. Wallace's book "really, the first critical response to rap", which is total bullshit unless he meant the first WHITE criticism of rap, which may or may not be the case. Mr. Wallace laughed at the question, said "you may not be happy with my answer" and then described the book as sort of a fuck up.
And then I raised my hand.
I had my question all panned out, as you know. Simple, to the point: "What has happened with "Infinite Jest" and Hollywood?" That was all I wanted to say. Here's what actually happened:
ME: "Yeah, I was wondering if you could talk about what happened with "Infinite Jest" and Hollywood?"
("I'm doing OK, I'm doing OK", I keep telling myself.)
HIM: Pauses.
(I take this pause as his wanting a bit more to the question, when actually he was just thinking.)
ME: For example, like (GOD I swore I'd never use that word!!!!!), a lot of people are talking about Dave Eggers making his book into a movie with Paul Thomas Anderson and Matt Damon, and I was wondering what happened to "Infinite Jest"?
HIM: Jesus, how do you know all this stuff?
(laughs)
ME: (panicking) I'm sort of a freak about that stuff.
(NOOOOO! Right now I can think of what I wanted to say, which was I'm a big film fan and I frequent websites that have way too much information. But we take what we can get.)
HIM: (goes into a very funny and good answer to my question, which includes the following:
1. He did indeed sell the rights to IJ, to "HBO, phew" with a look of comic disgust.
2. He had a meeting at a famous Hollywood restaurant with the one and only GUS VAN SANT, who wanted to do an 18 episode series.
3. HBO came back with an offer to do three hours, and only if it wasn't "too talky" which got a big laugh.
4. He was really, really, really worried that GUS VAN SANT was actually going to do it.
5. It's pretty much a dead issue, though he still gets the occasional check from HBO)
Actually, he looked pleased to talk about it, so I give my question an A and my delivery a C-.
So all in all, a positive experience. Hey, my five fucking years here weren't a complete waste. He's taken a job in California, I believe its called the Roy J. Disney award at Pomona College. So this was more than likely my last chance. He is a very funny man, Ryan was sitting next to me and both of us were laughing the whole time. Especially during the John McCain part, which was perfect.
And, for the record, I only hate some of the karaoke commercials.
The next five songs on your radio in a perfect world would be: "Goodbye" by silver scooter; "Gold Soundz" by Pavement; "The awesome machine" by Frodus; "we laugh indoors" by death cab for cutie; and "the new collapse" by the mt.st.helens.
I'm more than likely going to post this when we get home from the bar, so don't mind my drunken 2nd post which may or may not be about Duke losing to UCLA.
And the tide was way out…
So I met the David Foster Wallace machine. The room was crowded, but not packed. I'd say a population of about 75-100. A strange mix of people varying from trench-coated, top-hatted grad students to middle aged Normal citizens looking for a laugh. And we got laughs, didn't we.
So before I start with the reading, a physical description is a necessity. Mostly because he portrayed "semi-crazy 39 year old Genius-grant waving" writer to a teeeeee. He had on a pink button up shirt (which at some time could have been closer to red than white, but had the look of a shirt that's been washed and worn and so on); light tan khaki's of which one leg was tucked into his over-sized black boots which were laced only half way up, the other pant leg covered the boots almost entirely. In his back pocket looked to be a tin of chewing tobacco, which had yet to form a permanent indention but looked to be on its way. Above the right pocket on his shirt was an orange tag of some sort, possibly one of those stickers Kroger's puts on a gallon of milk symbolizing "PAID", possibly a price tag from Salvation Army. At some point during his discussion that tag disappeared. He got to the podium carrying a Multi-colored Zebra folder of the Trapper Keeper variety, from which he extracted two sets of papers, which was one short story (already found on the web, about a burned toddler) and one excerpt from what could have been a longer piece (about a Max Fischer like eleven year old set in 1966, which, aside from being funny as fuck, was sweet and DETAILED just the way we like our Mr. Wallace). After introductions by four separate people (one, done by a very funny kid named Tim, included this joke:
TIM: Yeah, so we invited Dave Wallace here, and he said he's going to read a few paragraphs from his work, so we can expect to get out of here in about 4 ½ hours.
DAVE: (frown of a lifetime, but appreciates the humor)
TIM: Sorry.)
we finally got down to business. Mr. Foster Wallace (as Jason calls him) read the two above pieces. Some dope from the Vidette was taking pictures. After the first one caused him to stop reading (HINT), he asked the kid for the second one to be the last. "All I can see are little blue dots" which was more funny than rude. The first story will make a fantastic longer piece. He introduced the second by informing "anyone who has kids, some people in Buffalo who had kids had a problem with this story" and politely said they might want to step outside if they got sketchy in situations like that. No one left, and we were rewarded by a no-fuck-up reading of a great story.
Then, the question and answer fiasco.
He looked out in the crowd, and no one raised their hand. He was about to leave when a girl finally asked him about misogyny in David Lynch. Then some kid in the back asked about the state of "post-modern fiction", which led Mr. Wallace to ask him what he meant by just about every word in the question. Quite a funny time. The next guy asked about the John McCain articles, and that led into a very very very funny section where he described the whole situation. I can't remember enough to be thorough. The next guy asked about his 1988 book about Rap, calling Mr. Wallace's book "really, the first critical response to rap", which is total bullshit unless he meant the first WHITE criticism of rap, which may or may not be the case. Mr. Wallace laughed at the question, said "you may not be happy with my answer" and then described the book as sort of a fuck up.
And then I raised my hand.
I had my question all panned out, as you know. Simple, to the point: "What has happened with "Infinite Jest" and Hollywood?" That was all I wanted to say. Here's what actually happened:
ME: "Yeah, I was wondering if you could talk about what happened with "Infinite Jest" and Hollywood?"
("I'm doing OK, I'm doing OK", I keep telling myself.)
HIM: Pauses.
(I take this pause as his wanting a bit more to the question, when actually he was just thinking.)
ME: For example, like (GOD I swore I'd never use that word!!!!!), a lot of people are talking about Dave Eggers making his book into a movie with Paul Thomas Anderson and Matt Damon, and I was wondering what happened to "Infinite Jest"?
HIM: Jesus, how do you know all this stuff?
(laughs)
ME: (panicking) I'm sort of a freak about that stuff.
(NOOOOO! Right now I can think of what I wanted to say, which was I'm a big film fan and I frequent websites that have way too much information. But we take what we can get.)
HIM: (goes into a very funny and good answer to my question, which includes the following:
1. He did indeed sell the rights to IJ, to "HBO, phew" with a look of comic disgust.
2. He had a meeting at a famous Hollywood restaurant with the one and only GUS VAN SANT, who wanted to do an 18 episode series.
3. HBO came back with an offer to do three hours, and only if it wasn't "too talky" which got a big laugh.
4. He was really, really, really worried that GUS VAN SANT was actually going to do it.
5. It's pretty much a dead issue, though he still gets the occasional check from HBO)
Actually, he looked pleased to talk about it, so I give my question an A and my delivery a C-.
So all in all, a positive experience. Hey, my five fucking years here weren't a complete waste. He's taken a job in California, I believe its called the Roy J. Disney award at Pomona College. So this was more than likely my last chance. He is a very funny man, Ryan was sitting next to me and both of us were laughing the whole time. Especially during the John McCain part, which was perfect.
And, for the record, I only hate some of the karaoke commercials.
The next five songs on your radio in a perfect world would be: "Goodbye" by silver scooter; "Gold Soundz" by Pavement; "The awesome machine" by Frodus; "we laugh indoors" by death cab for cutie; and "the new collapse" by the mt.st.helens.
I'm more than likely going to post this when we get home from the bar, so don't mind my drunken 2nd post which may or may not be about Duke losing to UCLA.
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