Mjarc
I feel like I should date my laptop. We've been spending so much QT together lately, what with all the papers I've had due. But thinking that reminds why I'd never want a webcam ***1***. There's only so many faces you can make in front of a webcam: (1) regular face, which should be pretty self-explanatory as the face that you regularly make (2) happy face, such as you just opened up an email that said "You've one 1,000,000 motherfucking dollars!" you'd have a happy face (3) goofy face, which a lot of people make because they get bored with the regular face and are "okay" with letting go for about two seconds (4) sad face, as in "I've got a whole hell of a lot more to do ... fuck" and finally (5) Goddamn-I-Really-Own-A-Webcam-Face, which is pretty similar to regular face, except now you have the knowledge that you paid good money for a useless product, and you're an idiot ***2***.
If I had a webcam, you'd see one face - me staring straight ahead at the camera. You'd probably see another head, which would be classified as Mast's dick occasionally popping out of his pants. I finally decided to start keeping track of the number of times I've seen Mast's wang, and am now at a comfortable 205. Sure, I had to estimate the previous three years dick sightings, but personally I think starting out at 200 was kind of a lowball number.
I've been doing homework and papers and whatnot for going on thirteen hours now. My brain is completely fucking fried. That doesn't mean I can't tell you to go visit Michelle @ Awkward Pirouehettes. She always has the nicest things to say about me. This last time she's gone off the deep end and called me an international BLARGing celebrity ***3***. I assured her that (a) she was nuts and that (b) she's not alone. I've said it a million times before, and I'll say it again ... read her page, regularly. It's that good.
***1*** and why I think most people with webcams are kind of retarded.
***2*** don't take it personally. I bought a keyboard at Best Buy once for absolutely no reason. Its under my bed right now. We're all retarded, if that makes you feel any better ... you fucking idiot.
***3*** a title that I humbly share with my brothers of the BLARG.
I feel like I should date my laptop. We've been spending so much QT together lately, what with all the papers I've had due. But thinking that reminds why I'd never want a webcam ***1***. There's only so many faces you can make in front of a webcam: (1) regular face, which should be pretty self-explanatory as the face that you regularly make (2) happy face, such as you just opened up an email that said "You've one 1,000,000 motherfucking dollars!" you'd have a happy face (3) goofy face, which a lot of people make because they get bored with the regular face and are "okay" with letting go for about two seconds (4) sad face, as in "I've got a whole hell of a lot more to do ... fuck" and finally (5) Goddamn-I-Really-Own-A-Webcam-Face, which is pretty similar to regular face, except now you have the knowledge that you paid good money for a useless product, and you're an idiot ***2***.
If I had a webcam, you'd see one face - me staring straight ahead at the camera. You'd probably see another head, which would be classified as Mast's dick occasionally popping out of his pants. I finally decided to start keeping track of the number of times I've seen Mast's wang, and am now at a comfortable 205. Sure, I had to estimate the previous three years dick sightings, but personally I think starting out at 200 was kind of a lowball number.
I've been doing homework and papers and whatnot for going on thirteen hours now. My brain is completely fucking fried. That doesn't mean I can't tell you to go visit Michelle @ Awkward Pirouehettes. She always has the nicest things to say about me. This last time she's gone off the deep end and called me an international BLARGing celebrity ***3***. I assured her that (a) she was nuts and that (b) she's not alone. I've said it a million times before, and I'll say it again ... read her page, regularly. It's that good.
***1*** and why I think most people with webcams are kind of retarded.
***2*** don't take it personally. I bought a keyboard at Best Buy once for absolutely no reason. Its under my bed right now. We're all retarded, if that makes you feel any better ... you fucking idiot.
***3*** a title that I humbly share with my brothers of the BLARG.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home