Zook INcandenZA
Like a morse code message sent from me to me.
Ten Things I did this weekend, the first time my family has met the Ry, and yes I do realize that it's weird that my family hasn't met a girl I've been "dating" for over a year, but I'm private guy ala Tina Turner (minus the hair and the woman parts, of course)-- a list in order of recollection, not necessarily of occurance***0.5***
10. My Uncle, who is in his mid to late 60's, has survived prostate cancer and is now gettin his hip replaced. He is the happiest man...ever, and I don't mean this sarcastically. He is literally happy all the time, despite his condition(s). So he bumps into Ry at the bar, and turns to say excuse me, and sees that it is her, looks to my cousins and goes "Ooooh. Not doin' too bad for an old man, eh?"
9. During the wedding, the woman doing the homily is nearly crying the entire time and says the word "blessing" 42 times***1**. When my dad and I start laughing about this, Ry shoots us "the look", which I affectionately place between mean and downright scary. We continue to laugh, but with restraint.
8. My mom yelled at my dad at least fifteen times. In the car ride to the church. That's one yell for every 3.32 minutes.
7. My Grandfather is 85 years old, and still looks good dancing to "I'm Walking on Sunshine".
6. Conversation topics at my table: vasectomies; people who are overly vocal during sex; the fact that my cousin C------ was, in her own words, "stalked" by her husband M-- before they got married; how little kids react to their parents having sex (my bro, RYandI were the only people sans kids); and whether or not driving Chicago's Rush Hour should be an Olympic Sport for which M---would win a gold medal.
5. Things it took someone else getting married for me to realize I would like to completely erase from my memory: all the words to "here comes the hotstepper"; my cousin
L-- describing the fact that a vasectomy doesn't change the "shape, size, consistancy, or amount" of your, well, your, uh...Ejaculate; the fact that there exists a breed of human beings whose only purpose in life is to DJ other people's weddings.
4. The Man Who Wasn't There is fucking incredible. Leads the BLARGars in all categories except Best Actor, which has to go, right now, to Gene Hackman in the Royal Tenenbaums. Yes I realize I've only seen the trailer. TMWWT is the kind of movie that you could almost sleep through***2***--the pace is glacial--but you also can't take yer eyes off the screen. I 100% recommend this movie. If you see it on my recommendation and don't like it, send me an email and we'll work out a payment plan so I can refund your money.***3*** James Gandofini is a breathing-actor god.
3. Ry was the best looking woman there.
2. Here's the thing about open bars: I feel guilty as hell drinking on the company dime unless the bride and groom are drinking too. Seeing as though this was a family wedding, and that the b+g are from Wisconsin, I drank quite a bit.
1. Obviously, I am the JEZBALL KING. The reason Marcie makes it sound as if I am cocky about it is that I am the best. I bow to no one where JEZBALL is concerned. Unfortunately, I also got a 2.4 GPA the semester I was addicted to it, so I won't be playing until January 1.
I missed the mt.st.helens and crew this weekend. It won't happen again. Sorry dudez. I also missed
GregStatic, which also won't happen again. Sorry dude.
NExt eight: A Silver Mt. Zion's Born into Trouble as the sparks fly upward in its entirety.
In the stereo: "Sisters! Brothers! Small boats of fire are falling from the Sky!" by A silver mt. zion
***0.5***And yes I realize that this is very Amplified-ish. The difference, in my opinion, being that I'm relating the people to you and not at you
***1***You know I counted.
***2***Ry, in fact, did sleep through 15 minutes of it.
***3***Payments are 11 cents a year over 1430 years.
Like a morse code message sent from me to me.
Ten Things I did this weekend, the first time my family has met the Ry, and yes I do realize that it's weird that my family hasn't met a girl I've been "dating" for over a year, but I'm private guy ala Tina Turner (minus the hair and the woman parts, of course)-- a list in order of recollection, not necessarily of occurance***0.5***
10. My Uncle, who is in his mid to late 60's, has survived prostate cancer and is now gettin his hip replaced. He is the happiest man...ever, and I don't mean this sarcastically. He is literally happy all the time, despite his condition(s). So he bumps into Ry at the bar, and turns to say excuse me, and sees that it is her, looks to my cousins and goes "Ooooh. Not doin' too bad for an old man, eh?"
9. During the wedding, the woman doing the homily is nearly crying the entire time and says the word "blessing" 42 times***1**. When my dad and I start laughing about this, Ry shoots us "the look", which I affectionately place between mean and downright scary. We continue to laugh, but with restraint.
8. My mom yelled at my dad at least fifteen times. In the car ride to the church. That's one yell for every 3.32 minutes.
7. My Grandfather is 85 years old, and still looks good dancing to "I'm Walking on Sunshine".
6. Conversation topics at my table: vasectomies; people who are overly vocal during sex; the fact that my cousin C------ was, in her own words, "stalked" by her husband M-- before they got married; how little kids react to their parents having sex (my bro, RYandI were the only people sans kids); and whether or not driving Chicago's Rush Hour should be an Olympic Sport for which M---would win a gold medal.
5. Things it took someone else getting married for me to realize I would like to completely erase from my memory: all the words to "here comes the hotstepper"; my cousin
L-- describing the fact that a vasectomy doesn't change the "shape, size, consistancy, or amount" of your, well, your, uh...Ejaculate; the fact that there exists a breed of human beings whose only purpose in life is to DJ other people's weddings.
4. The Man Who Wasn't There is fucking incredible. Leads the BLARGars in all categories except Best Actor, which has to go, right now, to Gene Hackman in the Royal Tenenbaums. Yes I realize I've only seen the trailer. TMWWT is the kind of movie that you could almost sleep through***2***--the pace is glacial--but you also can't take yer eyes off the screen. I 100% recommend this movie. If you see it on my recommendation and don't like it, send me an email and we'll work out a payment plan so I can refund your money.***3*** James Gandofini is a breathing-actor god.
3. Ry was the best looking woman there.
2. Here's the thing about open bars: I feel guilty as hell drinking on the company dime unless the bride and groom are drinking too. Seeing as though this was a family wedding, and that the b+g are from Wisconsin, I drank quite a bit.
1. Obviously, I am the JEZBALL KING. The reason Marcie makes it sound as if I am cocky about it is that I am the best. I bow to no one where JEZBALL is concerned. Unfortunately, I also got a 2.4 GPA the semester I was addicted to it, so I won't be playing until January 1.
I missed the mt.st.helens and crew this weekend. It won't happen again. Sorry dudez. I also missed
GregStatic, which also won't happen again. Sorry dude.
NExt eight: A Silver Mt. Zion's Born into Trouble as the sparks fly upward in its entirety.
In the stereo: "Sisters! Brothers! Small boats of fire are falling from the Sky!" by A silver mt. zion
***0.5***And yes I realize that this is very Amplified-ish. The difference, in my opinion, being that I'm relating the people to you and not at you
***1***You know I counted.
***2***Ry, in fact, did sleep through 15 minutes of it.
***3***Payments are 11 cents a year over 1430 years.
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