Marc
Wedding Bells Are Clinking
Tuxedos. Shiny shoes. Ironed shirts. Mmm ... ironed shirts.
I'm an usher in the wedding of one of my best friend's from back home this weekend, and I'll have to admit that I'm more than a bit weirded out by the whole thing. Sure, I'll be whooping and hollering with the rest of them, but I'll be on the sidelines, too, wondering what this means in terms of growing up stuff. I always admired Scoot's ability to process some of that stuff, and seeing these people this weekend will probably set me off on a helluva tangent. Weddings are so weird.
Not to mention that it's Catholic. I've got some one-liners prepared for greeting people at the door, most notably, "Pimp's or Ho's side today?" and "Yo, bitch! What can I do you for?" (and don't take the latter as sexist, as it applies to anyone walking anywhere near me) I'll probably just be smiling and uncomfortable in my tux, yanking at the collar, scuffling my shoes on the church floor ***1***, flipping off the Virgin Mary and Jesus any chance I get, being polite to people, checking out the hot/single chicks (as if any are going to be there) as I walk arm in arm with them down the aisle ***2***, and silently freaking out about how I'm going to have to make with the small talk to nearly 200/300 odd people that I've never met before. Oh man, this is going to be weird.
I'm sure I'll tell you all about it by Sunday. Shall we make it a date? ***3***
***1*** cuz you all know I'm 'bout to fuck up a church! Hey-oh!
***2*** oh, man! Down the aisle? Down the aisle?! Ick. Christ. Gross. This better not make me think about having to get married any time soon, cause, to be perfectly frank, it ain't gonna happen. No girlfriend, no prospects, nothing. I just hope my Mom doesn't get on a "when're you gonna start dating, Marc?" routine. Not like she has before, but still, there have been undertones once or twice, and I'm not going to be in the mood for it this weekend.
***3*** If you've been paying attention at all you should know the answer to this question ... "No! Fuck no! Jesus mother Mary on a webpage, NO! I ain't date, mo-fo's!" Shit.
Wedding Bells Are Clinking
Tuxedos. Shiny shoes. Ironed shirts. Mmm ... ironed shirts.
I'm an usher in the wedding of one of my best friend's from back home this weekend, and I'll have to admit that I'm more than a bit weirded out by the whole thing. Sure, I'll be whooping and hollering with the rest of them, but I'll be on the sidelines, too, wondering what this means in terms of growing up stuff. I always admired Scoot's ability to process some of that stuff, and seeing these people this weekend will probably set me off on a helluva tangent. Weddings are so weird.
Not to mention that it's Catholic. I've got some one-liners prepared for greeting people at the door, most notably, "Pimp's or Ho's side today?" and "Yo, bitch! What can I do you for?" (and don't take the latter as sexist, as it applies to anyone walking anywhere near me) I'll probably just be smiling and uncomfortable in my tux, yanking at the collar, scuffling my shoes on the church floor ***1***, flipping off the Virgin Mary and Jesus any chance I get, being polite to people, checking out the hot/single chicks (as if any are going to be there) as I walk arm in arm with them down the aisle ***2***, and silently freaking out about how I'm going to have to make with the small talk to nearly 200/300 odd people that I've never met before. Oh man, this is going to be weird.
I'm sure I'll tell you all about it by Sunday. Shall we make it a date? ***3***
***1*** cuz you all know I'm 'bout to fuck up a church! Hey-oh!
***2*** oh, man! Down the aisle? Down the aisle?! Ick. Christ. Gross. This better not make me think about having to get married any time soon, cause, to be perfectly frank, it ain't gonna happen. No girlfriend, no prospects, nothing. I just hope my Mom doesn't get on a "when're you gonna start dating, Marc?" routine. Not like she has before, but still, there have been undertones once or twice, and I'm not going to be in the mood for it this weekend.
***3*** If you've been paying attention at all you should know the answer to this question ... "No! Fuck no! Jesus mother Mary on a webpage, NO! I ain't date, mo-fo's!" Shit.
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