Zach Oooh!n
And my 4-2-4. Me.
I wanna talk about a movie I just saw. It's called the Salton Sea. Check the link for a full list of actors, but the short list has to be Val Kilmer, Luis Guzman, Vincent D'onfrio (sic), and that guy who played Mike Myers' best friend in So I married an axe murderer. This is not important. What is important. Is that this movie was quite good. I'm not talking about genius good or anything, but it was good. Top 10 of the year good, but that's not saying much this year. What I can't quite get is why it didn't do well in theatres. Actually, why it never made it to theatres. The guy who owns the Movie Fan in downtown Normal and I were talking about it yesterday and we were both excited to see it, cos it looked great and it good good reviews. He had even considered driving to Chicago to see it, which I hadn't, but I would have seen it had it come to The Thrill or Bloomington. It never made it. Why, is my question, I suppose.
The trailer was dynamite. Warner Brothers produced it, specifically Eriq LaSalle (black guy from ER) and Frank Darrabont (director of the Shawshank Redemption), and it was almost released on Christmas Day. Then it got pushed back. Again, again, and again. I end up renting it yesterday, thinking a 4 month turnaround from theatres to DVD is strange. I watched it. It was good. Again, not great. But it has the elements of a minor hit. Drugs. Murder. Revenge. Plot twists that at least sorta makes sense. List.
Things I did and did not like about The Salton Sea; an odd (signifying bad) and even (signifying good) numbered list that leads to the only possible conclusion
8 Best use of a badger in a movie, ever. Let's just say the guy doesn't feed it for a week, then he sets it loose on a character's phallus. That's good. Not for him, but for the movie.
7. The music is awful. It doesn't help that Val Kilmer's character is a trumpet player. But after a fairly solid ending scene, we get assaulted by one of those awful LA bands that sing acoustic songs about death and darkness for their encores at shows full of mulleted/goateed DBags. That's bad.
6. A scene that reenacted the JFK assassination using pigeons as the Kennedys (including a pink pillbox hat to signify Jackie-O) and had multiple killers shoot from multiple angles, and had a guy with a camera they called Zapruder. That's good.
5. That singer from Buckcherry is in it. Though he looks very much like an addict, he still sings in a shitty band. That's bad.
4. Vincent D plays a character whose nose had to be cut off cos he did too much Crank. While this doesn't seem plausible or interesting, he makes it incredibly funny. He gained 45 pounds for the role, and didn't do anything else for three months before and after he made this movie. Ouch for him. That's good.
3. Luis Guzman has a small part. He should have a big part. That's bad.
(Here the list is all good, which defeats the purpose of labeling the odds and evens as good or bad, but what the fuck)
2. There's a scene with beef brains that is just magic.
1. There's another scene with this old guy in a wheelchair karaoke singing "Take a walk on the wildside" by lou reed that is also pure gold.
This list doesn't matter, I suppose. Just skip it.
next five: "me and my 424" by john vanderslice; "lonely in a limo" by lifter puller; "obstacle 1" by interpol; "what it feels like for a girl" by mjarcie helgeberger; and "on 3" by the farewell bend.
inthestereo: John Vanderslice.
And my 4-2-4. Me.
I wanna talk about a movie I just saw. It's called the Salton Sea. Check the link for a full list of actors, but the short list has to be Val Kilmer, Luis Guzman, Vincent D'onfrio (sic), and that guy who played Mike Myers' best friend in So I married an axe murderer. This is not important. What is important. Is that this movie was quite good. I'm not talking about genius good or anything, but it was good. Top 10 of the year good, but that's not saying much this year. What I can't quite get is why it didn't do well in theatres. Actually, why it never made it to theatres. The guy who owns the Movie Fan in downtown Normal and I were talking about it yesterday and we were both excited to see it, cos it looked great and it good good reviews. He had even considered driving to Chicago to see it, which I hadn't, but I would have seen it had it come to The Thrill or Bloomington. It never made it. Why, is my question, I suppose.
The trailer was dynamite. Warner Brothers produced it, specifically Eriq LaSalle (black guy from ER) and Frank Darrabont (director of the Shawshank Redemption), and it was almost released on Christmas Day. Then it got pushed back. Again, again, and again. I end up renting it yesterday, thinking a 4 month turnaround from theatres to DVD is strange. I watched it. It was good. Again, not great. But it has the elements of a minor hit. Drugs. Murder. Revenge. Plot twists that at least sorta makes sense. List.
Things I did and did not like about The Salton Sea; an odd (signifying bad) and even (signifying good) numbered list that leads to the only possible conclusion
8 Best use of a badger in a movie, ever. Let's just say the guy doesn't feed it for a week, then he sets it loose on a character's phallus. That's good. Not for him, but for the movie.
7. The music is awful. It doesn't help that Val Kilmer's character is a trumpet player. But after a fairly solid ending scene, we get assaulted by one of those awful LA bands that sing acoustic songs about death and darkness for their encores at shows full of mulleted/goateed DBags. That's bad.
6. A scene that reenacted the JFK assassination using pigeons as the Kennedys (including a pink pillbox hat to signify Jackie-O) and had multiple killers shoot from multiple angles, and had a guy with a camera they called Zapruder. That's good.
5. That singer from Buckcherry is in it. Though he looks very much like an addict, he still sings in a shitty band. That's bad.
4. Vincent D plays a character whose nose had to be cut off cos he did too much Crank. While this doesn't seem plausible or interesting, he makes it incredibly funny. He gained 45 pounds for the role, and didn't do anything else for three months before and after he made this movie. Ouch for him. That's good.
3. Luis Guzman has a small part. He should have a big part. That's bad.
(Here the list is all good, which defeats the purpose of labeling the odds and evens as good or bad, but what the fuck)
2. There's a scene with beef brains that is just magic.
1. There's another scene with this old guy in a wheelchair karaoke singing "Take a walk on the wildside" by lou reed that is also pure gold.
This list doesn't matter, I suppose. Just skip it.
next five: "me and my 424" by john vanderslice; "lonely in a limo" by lifter puller; "obstacle 1" by interpol; "what it feels like for a girl" by mjarcie helgeberger; and "on 3" by the farewell bend.
inthestereo: John Vanderslice.
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