Mjarc
Only the Desperate Lose Everything:
I'm not the type that partakes in drugs -- never have before, probably never will. But, on occassion (and I realize this will sound petty), I have taken truck stop speed. Each time, I end up awake, for hours at a time, long after everyone who's taken them with me has fallen asleep. Tonight, we took them around 7pm. It's now almost 4am, and I have been awake, reading the Punk Planet interviews, pissing, packing, scratching my arms, feeling hollowed out. I think its a mindfuck for the most part. You take a pill. You have no idea what's in it. The little package tells you it will keep you awake. Your mind believes this. It has to believe it for it to work. Its the same principle with NyQuil. There can't be enough alcohol in that shit to make you sleep without being able to taste it. I've taken NyQuil and stayed awake. I've take DayQuil and fallen asleep.
Tonight it was Yellow Jackets. Four years ago it was Mini-Thins. I'm no expert on truck stop speed, but I know that I don't like taking them. The only problem is that I forget this fact in the five years between pops. I must remember, when I'm 27, that I don't want to do this. I can't do this. I can't feel the middle of my arms.
I don't know where the money in my left pocket went. I attribute that more to the beer and my stupidity than anything else. Living it up in Las Vegas, right? Fucking bullshit. Nothing in Vegas is "free". Not the free topless bar. Not the free drinks at the casino. Not the free comps that have yet to come our way. Not even our pictures are free. Our memories will cost us money in the end.
Tomorrow will see us renting a car and driving out to the Hoover Dam to look. Not to be guided, not to pay. Just to look. We switch hotels -- the next one is "free". We switch gears. No more drinking all day and laying down money on green felted tables. No more stopping by the one convenient store with all the two gorgeous female workers that should know us on a first name basis by now. Tomorrow we become tourists. Not like Helena Bonham Carter. We won't do it to be loved. We will do it to be free.
Only the Desperate Lose Everything:
I'm not the type that partakes in drugs -- never have before, probably never will. But, on occassion (and I realize this will sound petty), I have taken truck stop speed. Each time, I end up awake, for hours at a time, long after everyone who's taken them with me has fallen asleep. Tonight, we took them around 7pm. It's now almost 4am, and I have been awake, reading the Punk Planet interviews, pissing, packing, scratching my arms, feeling hollowed out. I think its a mindfuck for the most part. You take a pill. You have no idea what's in it. The little package tells you it will keep you awake. Your mind believes this. It has to believe it for it to work. Its the same principle with NyQuil. There can't be enough alcohol in that shit to make you sleep without being able to taste it. I've taken NyQuil and stayed awake. I've take DayQuil and fallen asleep.
Tonight it was Yellow Jackets. Four years ago it was Mini-Thins. I'm no expert on truck stop speed, but I know that I don't like taking them. The only problem is that I forget this fact in the five years between pops. I must remember, when I'm 27, that I don't want to do this. I can't do this. I can't feel the middle of my arms.
I don't know where the money in my left pocket went. I attribute that more to the beer and my stupidity than anything else. Living it up in Las Vegas, right? Fucking bullshit. Nothing in Vegas is "free". Not the free topless bar. Not the free drinks at the casino. Not the free comps that have yet to come our way. Not even our pictures are free. Our memories will cost us money in the end.
Tomorrow will see us renting a car and driving out to the Hoover Dam to look. Not to be guided, not to pay. Just to look. We switch hotels -- the next one is "free". We switch gears. No more drinking all day and laying down money on green felted tables. No more stopping by the one convenient store with all the two gorgeous female workers that should know us on a first name basis by now. Tomorrow we become tourists. Not like Helena Bonham Carter. We won't do it to be loved. We will do it to be free.
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