ZooK
I got meat in my arms, I got steel in my teeth, so c'mon.
Nine things***0.5*** that happened to/at/around me at the Hey Mercedes Show, 15 Sep 01, Chicago:
1. On the way to the show, Marcie showed his driving prowess by nearly rearending a car on I-290 and then nearly***1***killing a disabled man who was trying to cross the street in his motorized wheel chair while we were trying to turn left onto Clark Street.
2. While standing in front of the Metro, I saw a flier for the upcoming Burning Airlines/Rival Schools/Hey Mercedes show that listed Burning Airlines***2***as Burning AIRPLANES. I tried to get it down, but it was inside the window and thus once again showed my inability to reach through solid objects, ala Patrick Swayze.
3. Christine got us in early with help from a friend, and we thus avoided the dreaded "Stick Yer hands up and let me pat you down" routine I assume everyone else had to go through.***3***
4. I met a kid named Ben Stiller. He had I.D. and everything, and told a fantastic story about going to the airport the week before and asking the tickettaker to make sure he had this flight added to his frequent flier miles. When she took his ID, she typed in the name and said "address 2100 Hollywood Blvd?" And he was like, "No, that's THE Ben Stiller"***4***.
5. Hey Mercedes were fucking great, and I danced emphatically, mostly cos I had to piss like a unicorn. They did not, however, play "Our weekend starts on Wednesday", to which I must thrust upon them a hearty disaproving frown. And then a smile and a PTA-to-Fiona-esque hug***5***
6. Greg and Becky are not only BLARing champs, they're hella nice people.***6***
7. Jimmy Eat World are now touring with a third guitar player. This is not good. Three guitar players are reserved for bands that have singers who do two things at once and sometimes need a break from their guitar. They are not for bands who sound perfectly fine with two. The kid next to us glared at me when I yelled "Get rid of the third guy!" and reprimanded me with "Dude, the guy was in SLINT!". So of course at the end of the next song, during the silence I yelled "I don't care if he was in SLINT! You don't need a third guitar player!"***7***
8. The hot dog stand across the street from the Metro needs a more modern way of keeping track of orders than "Hey! Who had the hot dog?!?!?"***8***
9. We are unionized in our hatred for the Amplified and the like shite. We will no longer stand for websites that offer photographs that are not truly representative! We will fight the machine until it no longer exists! We will not tolerate long BLARGs about people we don't know personally! We will not make fun of ska bands behind their backs!***9***We will not pretend that our BLARG is vital to the survival of all who know about it! We will do this in an open forum, and with extreme disgust! Fight the Shite!***10***
Next five: "every turn" by hey mercedes; "slide yer ass" by the spinanes; "lonesome eyes" by chris lee; "if you don't quit that fucking crying I'm going to give you something to write about!" by lois lane local 211; and "new york, new york" by ryan adams.
***0.5***With Ten footnotes.
***1***I'm sure Marcie would like you to keep the emphasis on nearly here, but don't buy the hype.
***2***Which, given the current climate, is bad enough.
***3***Once, when heading into the Aragon to watch (gasp) Cypress Hill with my high school friends, a security guard with a strange look in his eyes grabbed my ass. I swear to god.
***4***His dad's name wasn't Jerry though.
***5***Coupled with a verbal reprimand to never do that to me again.
***6***My witty remark of "where's three?" when I noticed Jen wasn't with them was received somewhat unenthusiastically, however, and I thought it was damn funny.
***7***To which his spiky haired turtlenecked puny ass retorted "there's a bunch of assholes in this crowd, dudes who don't want a third guitar player", to which I replied "I AM NOT AFRAID!"
***8***Did I mention we saw a group of men fix TWO flat tires in less than thirty minutes in that same parking lot? Amazed, I was.
***9***We here at the Hero make fun of Ska bands directly to their faces. Not First Grade Crush or Drawing a Blank, though. Of course.
***10***I chose unionized instead of unified in this case cos we here at the Hero are strongly pro-Union and anti-Fascist. BLARGers of the world! Delight!
In the stereo: Spoon "A series of sneaks"
I got meat in my arms, I got steel in my teeth, so c'mon.
Nine things***0.5*** that happened to/at/around me at the Hey Mercedes Show, 15 Sep 01, Chicago:
1. On the way to the show, Marcie showed his driving prowess by nearly rearending a car on I-290 and then nearly***1***killing a disabled man who was trying to cross the street in his motorized wheel chair while we were trying to turn left onto Clark Street.
2. While standing in front of the Metro, I saw a flier for the upcoming Burning Airlines/Rival Schools/Hey Mercedes show that listed Burning Airlines***2***as Burning AIRPLANES. I tried to get it down, but it was inside the window and thus once again showed my inability to reach through solid objects, ala Patrick Swayze.
3. Christine got us in early with help from a friend, and we thus avoided the dreaded "Stick Yer hands up and let me pat you down" routine I assume everyone else had to go through.***3***
4. I met a kid named Ben Stiller. He had I.D. and everything, and told a fantastic story about going to the airport the week before and asking the tickettaker to make sure he had this flight added to his frequent flier miles. When she took his ID, she typed in the name and said "address 2100 Hollywood Blvd?" And he was like, "No, that's THE Ben Stiller"***4***.
5. Hey Mercedes were fucking great, and I danced emphatically, mostly cos I had to piss like a unicorn. They did not, however, play "Our weekend starts on Wednesday", to which I must thrust upon them a hearty disaproving frown. And then a smile and a PTA-to-Fiona-esque hug***5***
6. Greg and Becky are not only BLARing champs, they're hella nice people.***6***
7. Jimmy Eat World are now touring with a third guitar player. This is not good. Three guitar players are reserved for bands that have singers who do two things at once and sometimes need a break from their guitar. They are not for bands who sound perfectly fine with two. The kid next to us glared at me when I yelled "Get rid of the third guy!" and reprimanded me with "Dude, the guy was in SLINT!". So of course at the end of the next song, during the silence I yelled "I don't care if he was in SLINT! You don't need a third guitar player!"***7***
8. The hot dog stand across the street from the Metro needs a more modern way of keeping track of orders than "Hey! Who had the hot dog?!?!?"***8***
9. We are unionized in our hatred for the Amplified and the like shite. We will no longer stand for websites that offer photographs that are not truly representative! We will fight the machine until it no longer exists! We will not tolerate long BLARGs about people we don't know personally! We will not make fun of ska bands behind their backs!***9***We will not pretend that our BLARG is vital to the survival of all who know about it! We will do this in an open forum, and with extreme disgust! Fight the Shite!***10***
Next five: "every turn" by hey mercedes; "slide yer ass" by the spinanes; "lonesome eyes" by chris lee; "if you don't quit that fucking crying I'm going to give you something to write about!" by lois lane local 211; and "new york, new york" by ryan adams.
***0.5***With Ten footnotes.
***1***I'm sure Marcie would like you to keep the emphasis on nearly here, but don't buy the hype.
***2***Which, given the current climate, is bad enough.
***3***Once, when heading into the Aragon to watch (gasp) Cypress Hill with my high school friends, a security guard with a strange look in his eyes grabbed my ass. I swear to god.
***4***His dad's name wasn't Jerry though.
***5***Coupled with a verbal reprimand to never do that to me again.
***6***My witty remark of "where's three?" when I noticed Jen wasn't with them was received somewhat unenthusiastically, however, and I thought it was damn funny.
***7***To which his spiky haired turtlenecked puny ass retorted "there's a bunch of assholes in this crowd, dudes who don't want a third guitar player", to which I replied "I AM NOT AFRAID!"
***8***Did I mention we saw a group of men fix TWO flat tires in less than thirty minutes in that same parking lot? Amazed, I was.
***9***We here at the Hero make fun of Ska bands directly to their faces. Not First Grade Crush or Drawing a Blank, though. Of course.
***10***I chose unionized instead of unified in this case cos we here at the Hero are strongly pro-Union and anti-Fascist. BLARGers of the world! Delight!
In the stereo: Spoon "A series of sneaks"
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