Friday, October 26, 2001

Zook Incandenza

Man I'd rather be happy than right this time.

Next 5 Things that really suck in the world, or in my world I suppose, as of 10.26.01, Friday
5. Ghost World "starring" Thora Birch, some girl with an incredibly deep voice, and Steve Buscemi***1*** in a movie where a record collector obsessed with all things past gets some action from a good looking young "independent" woman. ONly problem: the only way she obtains her independence is through the exhaustion of all other avenues, thus making it look like women can only be truly independent when their man has crossed that last line. The two other people in the theatre with me walked out half way through. Well played, gents.
4. Nose Bleeds. In particular, nose bleeds when yer at the movies and the only thing you have to stop it is a glossy magazine type dealie with Harry Potter on the front. It doesn't help that you always end up looking like a cocaine fiend, when in fact you've never touched the stuff.
3. Bubba Sparxx. Need I say more? OK. Missy Elliott is proving herself to be one washed up "performer". Repeating your most famous lines over and over will get you stuck in the outhouse that Hammer and "who let the dogs Out" live in now.
2. America ONline. Not only did it erase my BLARG from last night, thus relegating me to the bottom of the pack AGAIN behind the overachieving Marcie and Mast, but it is slower than Ghost World and never ever ever takes less than 15 seconds to load a page.
1. Obviously, Amplified.

In conclusion, I am at my parent's house now, but tomorrow I will be back in Normal. This means that whoever is interested can revive NEd and Ted for the Halloween stylee.

Bon Jovi T-shirt+Zook=Ted
Van Halen T-shirt+Scoot=Ned
Marcie+Large phallus= myth
Matt+Fast=Mast

in the stereo: the hum of AOL ripping us all off.


***1***Who is normally so so good, but may have been a bit too worn from his stabbing attack that he just didn't read the script.

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