ZooK
These people look deep inside my soul and assign me a number in the order in which I joined.
Homer on the Stonecutters, tantamount to the Festivus (for the restofus) episode of Seinfeld in the fact that it is NEVER on. But last night, here in the 'burbs where we get 3 episodes of the Simpsons a day, every day, on time always. So classic, particularly the part where Lenny tells Homer that he's number 12, and then orders Mr.Burns (number 29) to come over and kicks him in the ass. Homer is shocked, looks at Lenny, says something awfully witty which I can't remember. Mr. Burns walks away muttering "Wait it out, Monty, climb the ladder". So good.
Well I haven't BLARGed lately because of the heat. yesterday was so fucking bad, and we were in it from 7 until 3 with no breaks. At the end of the day my dad's face was half bright red and half as white as his skin gets after 25 years of constant hours in the elements. He looks in the mirror and goes, "Shit, you see something new everyday"***1***
Speaking of seeing something new everyday....last night's Cubs game takes the fucking cake. First you get that awful call by the home plate umpire, who was seriously out of position and also out of his mind to call a close play for the opposition at Wrigley Field, then you get Steve "Mongo" McMichael who was drunk as a hoot owl singing the 7th inning stretch and saying "Don't worry folks, me and that home plate umpire are going to have some speaks after the game", then you get the home plate umpire all red faced and trying to look menacing throwing Mongo out of the game, marking the 1st time ever a singer has been ejected from Wrigley Field; then you get the Cubs taking the lead and suddenly losing it, then you get (and this part I couldn't watch,and am glad I didn't since I got to have a highly great conversation with Ryan) Ricky Guiterez falling down and almost fucking the whole thing up but somehow the Rockies forgot that when you play Pickle, you can't forget about the guy closest to home***2***, and all the badgering of the umpire pays off cuz he makes another close call but this time he figures out that he might be killed if he calls another out so he just puts his hands out like Christ on the Cross, which I'm sure his arrogant ass feels like. Beauty.
Now, this may be news, but Pollstar has the Jimmy Eat World show listed as confirmed for the 15th of September. So theres that. Maybe all this means is that Jimmy Eat World are telling one thing to group A while saying another to group B. For example, once Marcie told me that the wind had knocked our t.v. off the shelf and thus broken my favorite clock. See, I know he just got drunk and tripped over the chord or was eating his Nasty Sbarros stuffed pizza and just didn't notice he was leaning against the little idiot box. So maybe the show is really happening, but they just don't want us to know.
Next five: "sleepwalk capsules" by at the drive in; "jealous guy" by roxy music (via john lennon); "somewhere Marcie is flying above Utah" by lois lane; "can't stand it" by wilco; and "our weekend starts on wednesday" by hey mercedes.
in the stereo: At the drive in, which works well with days off because of heat and Cubs daygames.
***1***Meant to be read by someone who has heard my impression of his voice, which is just south of Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade. He doesn't really talk that way....
***2***something the rest of us learned in 3rd grade, when the really good athletes figured out that the only way to win was to be slick and have no friends.
These people look deep inside my soul and assign me a number in the order in which I joined.
Homer on the Stonecutters, tantamount to the Festivus (for the restofus) episode of Seinfeld in the fact that it is NEVER on. But last night, here in the 'burbs where we get 3 episodes of the Simpsons a day, every day, on time always. So classic, particularly the part where Lenny tells Homer that he's number 12, and then orders Mr.Burns (number 29) to come over and kicks him in the ass. Homer is shocked, looks at Lenny, says something awfully witty which I can't remember. Mr. Burns walks away muttering "Wait it out, Monty, climb the ladder". So good.
Well I haven't BLARGed lately because of the heat. yesterday was so fucking bad, and we were in it from 7 until 3 with no breaks. At the end of the day my dad's face was half bright red and half as white as his skin gets after 25 years of constant hours in the elements. He looks in the mirror and goes, "Shit, you see something new everyday"***1***
Speaking of seeing something new everyday....last night's Cubs game takes the fucking cake. First you get that awful call by the home plate umpire, who was seriously out of position and also out of his mind to call a close play for the opposition at Wrigley Field, then you get Steve "Mongo" McMichael who was drunk as a hoot owl singing the 7th inning stretch and saying "Don't worry folks, me and that home plate umpire are going to have some speaks after the game", then you get the home plate umpire all red faced and trying to look menacing throwing Mongo out of the game, marking the 1st time ever a singer has been ejected from Wrigley Field; then you get the Cubs taking the lead and suddenly losing it, then you get (and this part I couldn't watch,and am glad I didn't since I got to have a highly great conversation with Ryan) Ricky Guiterez falling down and almost fucking the whole thing up but somehow the Rockies forgot that when you play Pickle, you can't forget about the guy closest to home***2***, and all the badgering of the umpire pays off cuz he makes another close call but this time he figures out that he might be killed if he calls another out so he just puts his hands out like Christ on the Cross, which I'm sure his arrogant ass feels like. Beauty.
Now, this may be news, but Pollstar has the Jimmy Eat World show listed as confirmed for the 15th of September. So theres that. Maybe all this means is that Jimmy Eat World are telling one thing to group A while saying another to group B. For example, once Marcie told me that the wind had knocked our t.v. off the shelf and thus broken my favorite clock. See, I know he just got drunk and tripped over the chord or was eating his Nasty Sbarros stuffed pizza and just didn't notice he was leaning against the little idiot box. So maybe the show is really happening, but they just don't want us to know.
Next five: "sleepwalk capsules" by at the drive in; "jealous guy" by roxy music (via john lennon); "somewhere Marcie is flying above Utah" by lois lane; "can't stand it" by wilco; and "our weekend starts on wednesday" by hey mercedes.
in the stereo: At the drive in, which works well with days off because of heat and Cubs daygames.
***1***Meant to be read by someone who has heard my impression of his voice, which is just south of Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade. He doesn't really talk that way....
***2***something the rest of us learned in 3rd grade, when the really good athletes figured out that the only way to win was to be slick and have no friends.
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